Sceptical, cynical, that's me

How do you describe, not an outer body, but an inner body experience.  Never in a million years would I ever had said that I could be hypnotised. Sceptical, cynical, that’s me.  Yet, here I was, sitting in an ordinary living room on an ordinary comfy sofa – unable to move a muscle and having a conversation, mentally, with my subconscious.

I’ll admit I was pretty scared as I entered the room, my heart was racing, a little like going to the dentist.  I’d written down what I wanted to change in my life – panic attacks. Edward read through it and we chatted.  Then, after a fun thought suggestion, he talked me through relaxation.

My eyes were heavy, so much so I couldn’t open my eyelids – whoa, what was all that about.

I was able to say ‘now that’s weird’, before Edward talked me through the rest of my body getting more relaxed, heavier, until I couldn’t move. I was alert, but I couldn’t move.  From there I looked inside my head. I was trying to find my inner subconscious. Edward describes it as your five year old self.

My eyes were searching for, whatever it, may be within what was a huge blackish/blueish space inside my head.  I was scanning around this darkness expecting a naughty little person to emerge but there was nothing.  As my eyes scanned the space I remember thinking, where’s my brain, why is there nothingness.

I started to panic, it’s not fair, why is it not working, I thought.  The thing that I hoped was going to help was making me panic!

Then I noticed a blue spot in the distance, more like a dim torch in the fog.

I fixed on it and there began this weird mental conversation as my head seemed to swell and throb.  The empty darkness had a blue membrane all the way around my seemingly ever expanding skull, the same blue as the torchlight… my subconscious.  I began this weird mental conversation with it, too personal to detail.

There was a mental pressure expanding my skull, yet my mind felt incredibly empty. That washing machine mind of mind, so often on full spin, emptied.

All there was was my subconscious, me, and Edward’s voice.  I wanted to cry but I couldn’t move a muscle.  Then just one tiny tear leaked out from my left eye, the one that had been the last to succumb to the hypnosis, and trickled slowly down my face.

Edward brought me gently back to reality, back to the real world.

I could wriggle my toes, move my fingers, and then open my eyes, wide, in utter amazement and disbelief.  I felt calm and incredibly happy..I cried but I was happy.  I don’t know how Edward did what he did. I simply had to accept that it happened.



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